Tania Johnson | July 30th, 2025

The end of summer often brings with it a mixture of feelings. There’s the excitement of seeing friends again, the fresh smell of new pencils, and the comfort of returning to familiar routines. But for many children, this season can also stir up worry, fear, and a deep desire to cling to the safety of home. As caregivers and educators, it helps to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface when anxiety shows up during transitions like going back to school. 

What Is Back-to-School Anxiety Really About? 

Transitions ask a lot of children. They require flexibility, bravery, and trust that the new environment will be safe. While adults might take these changes in stride, children often experience transitions as a disruption to their sense of security. The human brain, particularly the developing brain, is wired to seek out the familiar and to be cautious when things feel uncertain. 

At the center of this response is a small almond-shaped part of the brain called the amygdala. Its job is to detect danger. When something feels unfamiliar-like a new classroom, a different teacher, or even just waking up earlier in the morning-the amygdala may go on high alert. It sounds the alarm, activating the body’s stress response system. 

This is why some children complain of stomach aches before school, or why others may seem overly sensitive, weepy, or even defiant during those first few weeks. Their nervous systems are doing their best to protect them from what they perceive as a threat, even if that threat is just the unknown. 

Understanding the Role of Safety 

In order for children to feel confident walking into a new school year, they need to feel safe. Emotional safety does not mean removing all stress or discomfort. It means offering children consistent reassurance, clear boundaries, and a sense that someone is there to guide them through the hard parts. 

For children, the presence of a calm, attuned adult can regulate their stress response better than any reward chart or logical explanation. Before we can talk them through their worries, we need to meet them in the feeling first. 

Supporting Children Through the Transition 

Here are a few strategies that can help children feel more secure during the back-to-school transition: 

1. Normalize the Nerves: Let your child know that feeling nervous about a new school year is completely normal. You might say, “Lots of kids feel a little nervous at the beginning. New things can feel tricky at first, but we’ll figure it out together.” When we acknowledge feelings instead of brushing them aside, children feel seen and understood.

2. Start the Transition Early: In the week or two before school starts, begin shifting routines gradually. This might mean earlier bedtimes, calmer evenings, and some simple morning rituals to practice getting out the door. Familiarity breeds comfort.

3. Use the Power of Previewing: If possible, visit the school grounds, peek into the classroom, or meet the teacher ahead of time. Even looking at pictures on the school website or driving by the building can help children start to map the experience in their minds. When their brains know what to expect, they feel safer.

4. Create Predictable Goodbyes: For younger children in particular, a predictable goodbye routine can ease separation anxiety. Whether it’s a special handshake, a short phrase like “See you at pickup,” or a gentle hug, rituals help ground children in safety and connection.

5. Watch Your Own Nervous System: Children are experts at picking up on adult cues. If we’re tense, rushed, or distracted during the morning transition, they may internalize that energy. As much as possible, try to build a bit of margin into your mornings. Take a deep breath, slow your pace, and send the message that everything is okay.

6. Stay Curious About Behavior: Sometimes anxiety doesn’t look like fear. It might show up as irritability, withdrawal, or even anger. Instead of focusing only on the behavior, try asking yourself, “What might be going on underneath this?” Anxiety often wears many disguises.

What Educators Can Do 

Educators are often the first safe adult a child sees in their day. A warm greeting at the door, a smile that meets their eyes, or the simple act of saying their name can go a long way. In those first few weeks, children are asking one silent question: “Am I safe here?” When educators answer that question with compassion and consistency, children begin to settle. 

Building connection before focusing on academics helps set the tone for the entire school year. A child who feels emotionally safe is far more ready to engage, learn, and grow. 

Final Thoughts 

Back-to-school anxiety is not something that needs to be “fixed.” It is something that needs to be held. Transitions are hard because they ask children to stretch. And stretching-just like growing-is often uncomfortable. 

But children do not need to stretch alone. With loving support from caregivers and educators, they can walk into the school year with a little more courage and a little more calm. And that makes all the difference. 

Let’s slow down during this season of change. Let’s offer our children the kind of presence that makes them feel anchored. And let’s remind them, gently and often, that they are not alone in this journey.

Author: Tania Johnson, R. Psych., RPT

Tania Johnson is a registered Psychologist, registered Play Therapist, Co-Founder of the Institute of Child Psychology, and best-selling author of The Parenting Handbook

Want more support on your parenting journey?
If this message resonated with you, we invite you to join our Institute of Child Psychology Membership. Inside, you’ll find expert-led workshops, practical tools, and a compassionate community of parents and professionals who believe in connection over perfection. Let’s keep learning and growing together—because you don’t have to do this alone.

👉 Become a Member Today