Tania Johnson | August 27th, 2025

Children will face hard things.
They will stumble through spelling tests, fall off the monkey bars, lose games, forget lines in a school play, and hear the word “no” when they hoped for a yes. And in those moments, what matters most is not perfection or performance.
What matters is how they see themselves — and whether they believe they can keep going.

Grit and growth mindset are two of the most powerful tools we can help children develop. But they do not come from pushing harder or demanding more. They grow from the inside out, through relationships, through encouragement, and through the deep belief that effort and care are enough.

What Are Grit and Growth Mindset?

Grit is the ability to keep going when something is hard. It’s not about pushing through at all costs. It’s about perseverance, hope, and the quiet belief that trying again is still worth it.

Growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence are not fixed — that we learn through effort, practice, and trying new strategies. This idea, made popular by researcher Carol Dweck, reminds us that setbacks are not failures. They are stepping stones.

When children are praised only for being smart or fast or naturally talented, they may avoid taking risks. But when we celebrate their effort, creativity, persistence, and flexibility, we nurture something deeper — the sense that they can rise, even when they fall.

Fostering Grit with Gentle Encouragement

1. Normalize Mistakes: Let children see that mistakes are part of learning. Share your own “oops” moments. Laugh about the cake that didn’t rise or the time you forgot your keys. Show them that being imperfect is human and safe.
2. Praise the Process: Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I noticed how hard you worked on that” or “You didn’t give up, even when it was tricky.” These small shifts reinforce resilience and effort.
3. Tell Stories of Perseverance: Children love hearing about real people who kept going — athletes, artists, scientists, or someone in their own family. Let them know that greatness is often rooted in patience and practice.
4. Allow Room for Struggle: It is tempting to jump in and fix things. But allowing space for manageable struggle helps children build confidence. Let them wrestle with the puzzle, tie their own shoes, or solve the tricky math problem. Then be there to celebrate the effort, not just the outcome.
5. Teach Self-Talk: When a child says, “I can’t do this,” gently offer, “Try adding the word yet. You can’t do it yet.” This soft reframe helps build internal language for hope.

Growth Mindset in the Classroom and Beyond

In schools, fostering a growth mindset means creating a culture where learning is valued more than performance. Where questions are welcomed, and challenges are celebrated. It’s about helping students see that every brain is still growing — and that effort shapes ability.

Teachers can model this with language:

• “This is hard, and that’s okay. Hard things help our brains grow.”
• “I love how you kept going after you got stuck.”
• “Let’s think of a new way to try that together.”

At home, this might mean slowing down during homework. Giving praise for trying something new. Or pausing to reflect on how far a child has come, rather than focusing only on where they need to go.

A Quiet Reminder for Adults

Children learn perseverance not by being pushed, but by being believed in.
They learn to keep going when someone beside them says, “I know this is hard — and I know you can do it.”
They learn to try again when mistakes are met with kindness.
And they learn to trust themselves when we show that we trust them too.

Final Thoughts

Grit is not about grinding. Growth mindset is not about pretending everything is easy.
Both are about finding strength in struggle, meaning in effort, and hope in the learning process.

So hold space for the tears. Cheer for the try, not just the win. And tell your child, again and again, that their worth is not tied to outcomes.

They are not only capable. They are becoming.
And that is something worth believing in.

Author: Tania Johnson, R. Psych., RPT

Tania Johnson is a registered Psychologist, registered Play Therapist, Co-Founder of the Institute of Child Psychology, and best-selling author of The Parenting Handbook

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