This is a question that is burning on so many parents minds, so here are what some of the experts say:
Santa is such a powerful, magical story! A bit unrealistic, certainly, but a story that children want to believe.
I don’t think there is a right answer on this. Some people feel strongly that from the beginning you should say Santa is not real. Others feel strongly that children benefit from the magic of the myth.
My own feeling is that the myth is fine, but when your child asks you if Santa is real, you should say “Do you really want to know the truth?”
If your child says “Yes!” you can say “Santa Claus was a real person, but he lived many years ago. He did wonderful things to help others so we honor his memory by “being Santa” and giving to others. Now that you know, you can be Santa also, by giving to others and making the holiday for others.”
As parents, we often find ourselves straddling the line between fostering our children’s imaginations and being truthful. When I dressup and engage in my child’s imaginative play, am I lying? Or am I facilitating a space where they can explore, dream, and invent?
The magic surrounding characters like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny exist in a child’s world, which thrives in that space between reality and imagination.
Belief in these enchanting figures, I like to think, is not deceiving them, but rather, joining in on their world of imagination and magic. But if you grew up in a household where dishonesty was present, I also truly understand the importance of being really direct and honest with your kids about Santa. Again, only you know what’s best for your family and there’s no shame in celebrating or not celebrating Santa.
Every family has to make this decision for themselves because how you approach it is up to you. The most important thing is to emphasize the spirit of Santa – generosity, kindness, and giving. That is what the spirit of the holidays is supposed to be about. It’s important to not lose sight of that. And we can all be in the spirit of Santa.
If we’re honest with our kids that Santa is a fictional character that we can choose to believe in or not, we’re not ruining the magic. Because here’s the thing: Kids love to imagine. All day long, your child is engaged in pretend play, and it’s fun for them. For instance, just because your child knows they’re not actually a mom doesn’t distract from the fun of pretending to be mommy during doll time.
You can still have a magical Christmas because it’s all about embodying the spirit of Santa – embodying generosity and kindness. So telling the truth will not ruin the magic for your child during Christmas.
And there are so many ways to embody the magic of the holiday season outside of Santa. You and your child can:
• Bake holiday cookies together
• Go for a walk and look at all the Christmas lights
• Make homemade gifts for family & friends
• Volunteer at a food bank or other cause
• Come up with ways to treat people with extra kindness
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