Child Psych Podcast Episode #195

In this episode of The Child Psych Podcast, psychologists and registered play therapists Tania Johnson and Tammy Schamuhn, co-founders of the Institute of Child Psychology, explore a parenting idea that may sound surprising: sometimes, we need to stop talking so much about our children’s feelings. Drawing on their clinical experience, knowledge of child development, and their own experiences as mothers, they offer a thoughtful middle ground between ignoring emotions and making feelings the centre of every parenting interaction.

Introduction to the Conversation

Parents today are encouraged to validate emotions, name feelings, and help children talk through difficult experiences. These strategies can be incredibly valuable, but can we sometimes take them too far?

Tania and Tammy discuss why not every emotion needs a conversation and why repeatedly asking children how they feel can sometimes increase distress rather than reduce it. Healthy children experience sadness, frustration, jealousy, embarrassment, and disappointment. Emotional health isn’t about eliminating those feelings; it’s about gradually learning that they can move through them and recover.

What We Discuss in This Episode

The conversation explores how children’s developing brains process emotions differently from adults and why emotional regulation often needs to come before emotional discussion. When feelings are running high, movement, play, connection, fresh air, or simply a calm parent’s presence may be more helpful than asking a child to explain what’s wrong.
Tania and Tammy also explore why “name it to tame it” doesn’t work for every child, how temperament influences emotional processing, and why parents should pay attention to whether their attempts at validation are actually helping.

Most importantly, they share practical alternatives: regulate through the body, use fewer words, offer connection without demanding conversation, and try “breadcrumb conversations” later when your child is calm and receptive.

What You’ll Learn

• Why talking about feelings isn’t always the best way to support emotional regulation
• How to recognize when your child needs connection instead of conversation
• Why movement, play, and co-regulation can help children process big emotions
• How to use fewer words during emotionally intense moments
• How stepping back can help children build resilience and learn, “I can handle hard things.”

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is for parents, caregivers, educators, therapists, and professionals supporting children’s mental health and emotional development. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re validating enough, talking too much, or how to help a child with big feelings without turning every difficult moment into a therapy session, this conversation offers a practical and reassuring new perspective.