Tania Johnson | December 9th, 2025

Why Holidays Can Bring Up Big Emotions for Children

Holidays often look joyful from the outside, but for many children they can be overwhelming. Routines shift. Bedtimes slide. Houses get louder. Excitement mixes with exhaustion. Even happy events can feel stressful to a child’s nervous system.

Children communicate this through their behavior. They may cling more, cry more easily, become more energetic, or act out. They may regress in small ways, asking for help with things they usually handle independently. These behaviors are not misbehavior. They are a child’s way of saying, “I need help regulating.”

How Changes in Routine Affect the Nervous System

Children thrive on predictability. It helps the brain feel safe. When the schedule suddenly changes, their nervous system works harder to stay regulated. Extra stimulation from gatherings, decorations, music, and unfamiliar faces can overload their sensory system.

Understanding this helps parents respond with empathy rather than frustration. Children are not giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time.

Connection, Not Perfection, Is What Children Need Most

It can be tempting to create the perfect holiday experience, especially when families gather. But what children need most is a regulated adult. Neuroscience shows that children borrow emotional regulation from their caregivers. When you offer closeness, calm presence, and steady warmth, their anxious or overstimulated nervous system begins to settle.

You are the anchor in the room. Your calm is more important than the perfect plan.

How Simple Rituals Create Safety During Busy Seasons

Rituals are powerful during the holidays. They do not need to be elaborate. Lighting a candle together at dinner. Reading a bedtime story. Taking a quiet moment before bed to breathe. These rituals give the nervous system a sense of rhythm.

Rituals tell the brain, “I know what comes next.”
This predictability helps children feel safe even when everything else feels different.

Supporting Children Through Big Emotions With Compassion

When big feelings show up, children need a calm guide. Sitting close, using a gentle voice, and validating their emotions helps their body return to regulation. You can say things like:

“I see this feels really big for you.”
“I am right here with you.”
“Let’s take a deep breath together.”

These moments of co-regulation strengthen resilience, emotional intelligence, and attachment.

What Children Remember Most About the Holidays

When children look back, they rarely remember the perfect decorations or the themed activities. They remember how it felt to be with you. They remember laughter, shared moments, and the warmth of being held during a meltdown.

Connection is the memory that lasts.
Presence is the gift they carry forward.

This holiday season, give yourself permission to slow down, soften expectations, and focus on being with your child. It is the simplest moments that become the most meaningful.

Author: Tania Johnson, R. Psych., RPT

Tania Johnson is a registered Psychologist, registered Play Therapist, Co-Founder of the Institute of Child Psychology, and best-selling author of The Parenting Handbook

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