Tania Johnson | August 8, 2025

Mornings can be tricky. Backpacks are missing, socks are nowhere to be found, and someone is crying because they wanted the blue bowl. The school day hasn’t even started, and already everything feels like too much.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. What may look like forgetfulness, distraction, or meltdowns is often something deeper. These are signs that a child’s executive functioning system is still under construction — and that is completely normal.

What Is Executive Functioning?

Executive functioning is a term used to describe the brain’s “management system.” It helps us stay organized, plan ahead, manage our emotions, and follow through on tasks. For children, this means things like remembering to bring their library book, waiting their turn, switching between activities, and staying focused in class.

These skills are not fully developed until the mid-twenties. So when a seven-year-old forgets their lunch or a ten-year-old has a hard time settling into homework, it isn’t a character flaw. It’s developmental.

Executive functioning lives in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that takes the longest to mature. That means our children need support, structure, and lots of gentle guidance as they build these skills over time.

How We Can Help

Here are a few simple ways parents and educators can support the development of executive functioning skills during the school year:

1. Break Tasks Into Steps: What seems simple to us may feel overwhelming to a child. Instead of “Go get ready,” try breaking it down: “First, find your socks. Then, brush your teeth.” Step-by-step instructions help organize the brain.
2. Use Visual Aids: Visual checklists or morning routine charts can be incredibly helpful. When kids can see what’s expected, they are more likely to follow through.
3. Practice Planning Together: Involve children in planning their day. “What’s something you want to do after school?” or “Let’s look at what’s coming up this week.” These small conversations build awareness and confidence.
4. Create Predictable Routines: Structure helps reduce mental load. A consistent rhythm for mornings, homework, and bedtime allows the brain to use less energy figuring out what comes next.
5. Offer Gentle Reminders, Not Shame: Instead of, “You always forget your homework,” try, “Let’s make a spot in your backpack for papers you need to bring back.” Empathy and problem-solving go much further than blame.
6. Support Emotional Regulation: Executive functioning includes managing emotions. Deep breaths, movement breaks, or simply sitting together during hard moments can help children feel safe enough to regain control.

A Word for the Adults

It can be easy to expect too much from children when we forget just how much is still developing. Some days will be messy. There will be forgotten water bottles and unfinished assignments. But every one of these moments is a chance to scaffold, not scold.

Your calm is teaching their brain how to stay calm. Your support is helping them learn how to stay focused, organized, and regulated. It won’t happen overnight. But it will happen — with time, patience, and the warmth of your presence.

Final Thoughts

Executive functioning is not something a child either has or does not have. It is something they are growing into. And like any form of growth, it needs nurturing.

So take a breath when the socks are missing and the backpack is still unpacked. You’re helping build the foundation for skills that will serve your child for a lifetime. And your presence — even in the chaos — is the most important part.

Author: Tania Johnson, R. Psych., RPT

Tania Johnson is a registered Psychologist, registered Play Therapist, Co-Founder of the Institute of Child Psychology, and best-selling author of The Parenting Handbook

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